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I was able to understand what was happening in the teaser, and just based on this one paragraph, I grade your originality high. Though, I don't know the whole back story. The writing managed to keep my attention, was easy to understand and suspenseful in the end. For improvement, I would recommend avoiding run on sentences, and trying make sure that your descriptions have the right amount of detail. Not too much and not too little. This will keep the audience from becoming confused from reading your work. Other than that, excellent job on doing a teaser! Keep up the hard work and I'll look forward to your next piece!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.


greensalamander Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist
thank you so much that helps a lot ~~<3
Rozen-Guarde Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome~ Anytime :)
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